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My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009) Director Patrick Lussier 2 February 2009

Posted by jordanfarley in Uncategorized.
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My Bloody Valentine is a re-make of the 1981 slasher flick, infamously butchered by the BBFC at the time, now updated with 21st century 3-D effects at selected cinemas. The plot is relatively straightforward Tom (Jensen Ackles) returns to his home town 10 years after a miner went on a murderous rampage with a pick axe killing more than 20 teens and almost killing him and his friends Sarah (Jamie King) and Axel (Kerr Smith). He is returning to sell the mine once owned by his father, much to the dislike of the townsfolk who are dependent on the mine for a living but upon his return the murders start up again and Tom is the prime suspect, is he responsible or is Harry Warden back from the dead?

Lets get this clear from the start My Bloody Valentine is rubbish, absolute trash escapist cinema but it’s undoubtedly one of the most enjoyable experiences you will have sat in a dark room wearing funky glasses this year. As a slasher flick it actually holds up pretty well, there’s enough of a mystery to keep you guessing throughout, the acting is awful, as is expected but no-one’s too bad while the deaths are some of the most imaginative and brilliantly gory in a long time. A lot of the kills make great use of the 3-D technology, the pick axe being the perfect weapon of choice for a 3-D movie by nature of it being the most pointy weapon in a killers arsenal. One early kill sees the miner slam his pick axe through the back of an unsuspecting teens head only for the eye to end up on its point and come straight out at the audience. If you don’t like the sound of that maybe My Bloody Valentine isn’t for you.

The 3-D is the biggest selling point for the film and the technique was made for use in horror films like this. Many cite the fact it delivers a more immersive experience, drawing the viewer in, as the real benefit of 3-D but unfortunately so far I have found to opposite to be true. The fact that you have so many things just coming out at you for no reason instantly pulls you out of the film and makes you appreciate the technology rather than the events onscreen. It doesn’t pull you in, it pushes you out. I also dislike the fact that so much of it looks fake in digital 3-D, particularly quieter scenes where there is depth to the frame (for example a character walking towards a door in the distance) it just looks on a par with old computer games which used to green screen actors over CG backgrounds with horrible effects. 3-D also doesn’t seem to handle motion to well yet and objects out of focus which look fine in 2-D just look blurry and horrible in 3-D.

But on the whole the technology has a hopefully bright future. For the first time in years it allows the cinema to offer something home cinema cannot. Horror movies are the perfect mass consumption vehicle for 3-D but this year we also have James Cameron’s Avatar to look forward to in 3-D which promises to be the epic we were all waiting for. An above average horror movie is made a near must see for horror fans by virtue of the technology, though it’s obviously not for everyone.

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